I'm Still Here

I know that when I haven't posted for a few days, some of you worry that I might be passed out in a dumpster somewhere along the FDR with a coke bottle shoved up my ass--or even worse, dead (e.g. no longer alive). Not to worry, I'm still very much kicking right now, even if my heart-rate has been off-the-charts for the last 5 days. Besides, who's ever actually known anyone who died from cocaine? I mean, you hear about people od'ing on coke and dying all the time, but you don't actually know any of them, right? I've been around the sauce, and people who abuse it, for years upon years, and not once have I seen a single person die from a cocaine overdose. Heroin, sure. Speedballs, of course. But straight up coke--I've never seen it. Now, I know that flat-out saying that one can't die from a coke overdose is probably one of the most ignorant, uneducated things I've ever suggested--aside from the time I convinced a hooker to enjoy a smoke on the invisible, makeshift balcony right outside my bedroom window. That said, I've never seen it happen--at least not to anyone I know. So in my book, it can't happen. Of course, the jacket of my book is covered in coke residue and half the pages are torn out, but it's still a book, and it still is mine.

Where was I? Oh yeah--even if it were possible that one could die from a coke overdose, and I in fact did die in such a manner (or any other manner, for that matter)--and thus was no longer to post on this site anymore, because I would no longer have use of my capacities, not to mention my hands--don't fret. I have a system in place to let you all know what's happened, so that you no longer have to worry about me, but more importantly, so that your posthumous accolades can, in death, turn me into a cult hero--to the extent I am not one already.

There's no question I'm destined to die young. I've always known that. And at the speed I'm going, it probably won't be too long now before it happens. But when it does, fear not--you'll be the third to know.