Session with a Celebrity?

If you could have a coke session with any celebrity, who would it be? Though there are plenty I can think of, my first choice would be none other than Lindsay Lohan.

Sure, Lohan is overexposed, annoying, and perhaps even somewhat insane. But man oh man does she just exude sex--something I realized a few years back when I went to go see "The Parent Trap."* Now, I'm not obsessed with Lohan by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I don't even think she's all that hot, relatively speaking. Compared to other known coke fiends like Kate Moss, Lohan doesn't even hold a candle, viscerally speaking. But for me, there's just something about that Lindsay Lohan. Something that says: "I'm wild and crazy, lets blow lines and all night and I'll scream at the top of my lungs and gyrate on top of a table with my hands over my head, and maybe later, we can screw, or at least I'll let you touch my leg."

Maybe it's the fact that she's constantly behaving like a petulant child, or the fact that she consistenly makes assinine comments. Or perhaps its the weekly tales of her fabled nightlife and partying. I'm not sure, quite frankly. But now, every time I see her picture--every time--I juts think to myself, "man, do I want to 'sit around a coffee table' with that broad." Oh, and I also think about touching her boobies. Forgot about that for a second.

Love her or hate her, you have to admit, there's no question that it would be fun to "party" with Lindsay Lohan. At the very least, you know that at some point in the course of the night, she'd do something worthy of mention in the supermarket tabloids, much less in conversation with your idiot friends. There's no question that no matter how you slice it, it would be a night to remember.

So here it is, my open invitation to Lindsay Lohan. I'm not sure if she's ever read this blog. Actually, I'm quite sure that she never has, nor has she ever likely even heard of it. I wonder if she even knows what a blog is? But if she ever does, I want her to know that I'm willing, at a moment's notice, to drop whatever I'm doing at that very moment (which, chances are would be coke in any event), to meet her anywhere she chooses--whether it be a posh, exclusive hotspot, or simply on a couch in front of a tv--and treat her to a fun filled evening of edgar winter with Edgar Winter.

I'm also interested in finding out who your fantasy "celebrity session" would be with, and why. Readers are encouraged to post comments to the site explaining which celebrity you would like to "get involved" with, why, and what you hope would go down. Please note that comments in which people choose Robert Downey Jr. will immediately be deleted, because, come on people, you can do better than that. Margot Kidder, for example, would be a great, great choice. So go ahead, plug away. And if you speak to Lindsey in the meantime, tell her I'll be waiting by the phone for her call.


*Relax, this is a joke. I am not a pederast, nor did I go see The Parent Trap. Nope, I rented it.