Tuesday, December 20, 2005

The Effect of the Transit Workers' Strike on Delivery of the White Lady is . . .

. . . absolutely nil. Coke dealers don't take mass transit, silly! They drive around in pimped out Escalades with their "boyz" in the back seats playing Madden on the in-car Sony Play-Station. And since no one orders coke between the hours of 5 am and 11 am (us coke users usually go to sleep at sound point during that 6 hour window), the "4 person per car" rule doesn't effect the coke dealers--not that it would matter if it did, because all they'd have to do is pile a few more of their "cousins" in the car, and I'm sure they all already own a Play-Station "four person controller." So tonight, when you get back from your "three mile walk home from work," call up the guy, have him deliver a nice, plump bag of the white lightning, drink a few beers, and listen to the music of your choice (I would recommend the bittersweet folk-rock of James Taylor, a former coke addict himself, belief it or not). No doubt the coke you're given will be cut with detergent or baby laxative, and either make you twitch violenty until your nose bleeds or cause you to spend half the night on the toilet, but hey, what else do you have to do? And by "you," of course, I mean "me."

17 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My guy rides a bike around the city. Then again, I'm pretty sure he is selling me sweet and low, which would explain why it's only $30 per G. Looks like I need a new guy.

4:07 PM  
Blogger macattack said...

My guy is a Jew. He doesn't sell anything below 50 dollars, and by Saturday is on a week long bender and doesn't work. He also studied business at Brandies. Usually by Sunday he's in commission. Otherwise, go to bogeda on 5th st and avenue D.

7:56 PM  
Anonymous casey said...

do you know anyone in vegas?

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeh - how the fuck do you score blow in vegas? NOT On the street either -- last time i brought it on the plane, but - thats sketchy.

11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post and the responses are so topical. I'm going to Vegas tommorow so I called my guy (For pills not blow. I am afraid to bring coke on the plane too.). Anyway, he wasn't in the city yesterday, as the author of this blog knows (He text messaged me at 11:30 last night for my guy's number). Hopefully, my guy will come through with the disco biscuits so I don't have to deal with getting in touch with "Vegas Phil" (Vegas Phil is a guy one of my friends knows in Vegas. He sells 8 Balls the size of duffel bags.) I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

- Johnny Vegas

9:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i mean - do you just go up to the hospitality babe serving u drinks in camel-toe wear and casually ask her if she can get you a ball or what?

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

heroin is "the white lady" you nitwit

11:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bwahahaha - have you ever looked at some heroin br0

try google search on "white lady drugs"

while there is no official governing body of drug slang -- you might want to retract ur statement

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Anonymous looking for toot in Vegas. My only advice is to ask around. Be aggresive. Try the car valets. Those guys can get anything. Their job is not to park cars, its to get people drugs and hookers for nice tips. You can also try the Illegal immigrants handing out fliers for hookers. Your in Vegas for Christ sake. If you can't dig up some high priced/low grade booger sugar in Sin City, where can you?

-Johnny Vegas

1:12 PM  
Anonymous casey said...

can someone get my vegas phil's number? i tried the valets at the rio but no luck....

2:23 PM  
Anonymous well shut of it said...

I haven't touched the stuff in more than five years and haven't used it regularly in nearly 10. Perusing your blog, I'm reminded why. A lovely high, but God, the ancillaries are a bitch. Expense, sketchy associates, nose troubles--no, thank you. I'll stick with scotch.

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you my next-door neighbour? james taylor, 5-11am sleeping only... it all fits.

7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Best way to get the best white china is asking your limo driver which if done this way kills two birds with one stone by this I mean you get some rocket fuel that will make Robert Downey Jr's nose bleed and you will be blowin rails in a limo with a half naked Cuban hooker nailing your best friend and zipping down the vegas strip

Enjoy

8:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And Another thing the balls out there are ginonrmous and not to expensive for the quality

I think I paid 300 for 2 balls

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

go to sleep from 5am to 11 am?

thats when im usually ripping into the other half of the ball you pussy

8:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

china white is definately synthetic heroin (fentanyl-based). get your slang straight.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i know the shit i'm getting is cut like crazy, it gets me fucked but i need alot. last time it had some sort of laxative. i don't want to get too high up with blow but i need to score some quality shit in the east bay. anyone know of a chemical solution or anyway to cut out adulterants?

8:51 PM  

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